Do you have the time,

new lj.

2006-11-14T08:21:50Z

I never change any of my accounts ever, but I felt like it was time to start anew.
I have a plethora of new ideas to make my lj posts more meaningful and not so much about routine things in my life.
Also, I'm going to be getting a new digital camera soon, making it easier to post interesting things that I learned or saw in my crazy life that is just too hard to explain with words. So yay for pictures!
I hope more people enjoy my posts, and yes I'm making it friends only, maybe only for a bit, but who knows.
So here goes:
assortedstuff

Tell him to jump higher.

2006-11-14T01:56:34Z

oh livejournal..I know this is like my 3rd post in under 24 hours..wait 4th..eh anyway, I feel really shitty lately, although, I've been telling everyone that I'm okay. I'm such a liar. My pants should be ashes.
I'm scared. I'm scared of what kind of changes I will experience when I get home. I miss all my friends so much, but a lot has changed since I went away to school. Worst part, the one person who has remained semi-constant in my life..well blah.
I can't even talk about it.
I'm pretty sure I'm gonna make a new LJ. I need to make a new one that is friends only.
so that will be what I'm going to do.
any name suggestions.
flaminglobster came from neal. haha funny story...maybe I'll ask him again.
good bye<3

state of awake/sleep.

2006-11-13T18:19:59Z

Well I didn't get to sleep til 5:30AM and when my alarm went off at 7AM, I pulled a whitney and yelled, "hell to the no!" and went back to sleep. I missed my first two classes. sucks, but eh, thats life..I really need to break outta this non-sleeping habit. I miss Gerry, I feel like we are at different schools on different continents. Thank god for tridelta though, w/o those girls I wouldn't be doing nething on the weekends.
I have to write this paper on fast food and obesity, I changed my topic to that b/c I'm a badass.
eh I just got goosebumps..I'm gonna write my paper till one and if I'm not done by then I'm gonna fuck it and not go to english and finish writing the paper and tell my teacher I was actually really sick..I've never missed the class and I'm probably the only one she trusts to get the work in.
oh livejournal, I love you. I really think I'm gonna start writing in you more and more.

no sleep for me.

2006-11-13T09:46:03Z

eh..yet again I can't fall asleep..eh I can't wait to be in my own bed come Friday. I probably shouldn't write much b/c the sound of my keyboard might wake up sue..but w/e..
I have class at 8..therefore, I need to be up by 7:10 the lastest...yay 3 hours of sleep..if I'm lucky..I need to go too..to turn in my math journal..I can't fail this class, I'm getting a low C already...
and worst part is I can't take a nap b/c I have to write the rest of my english paper [[the one I was gonna right saturday...well, sometime this weekend]] then I don't get outta my last class til 5:15...eh this week is gonna drag..I can feel it.
i can't wait to be home..I miss my mom and my dad..eh..and I never admit that I miss my dad..
I'm getting a new digital camera for my birthday/christmas present from my mom and bill..well thats what I'm gonna ask for from them..
I guess I should try sleeping..
maybe I should start taking sleeping pills..even though I'm totally against it..this no sleeping phase has got to stop.
I can't wait til next semester.

flaminglobster @ 2006-11-12T23:49:00

2006-11-13T05:49:07Z

can we fake it? can we make-believe? I'm so full of love..it deeply sickens me.

Step 1: Press button.
Step 2: Get bacon.
Step 3: Eat bacon.

I'm done. I'm gonna dance in my underwear..and I don't care who knows it!

Makes no difference what group I'm in. I am everyday people.

CHINA!
so I have decided I want to spend a summer in China...probably next summer. I based this mostly on the crazy gross foods they have there. They are so funny..oh asians.

In the Americas, corn is a staple grain; in Asia, it is a stand-alone taste sensation. Examples: corn-flavored caramel candy, the Corn Cup side-dish at McDonald's, and this delicious, unnaturally corn-pungent corn-flavored corn-shaped ice cream bar. Price: US$.13

As with corn, dairy products aren't a dietary staple in much of Asia, and cheese is a commonly-cited Chinese horror food...and I hate cheese. so good.

But one thing the whole world can agree upon is that nobody wants the chilli-flavored jellyfish.

We are truly lucky to live in this century, my friends. As a celebration of having been born into the Golden Age of snacks, and such. plus..I decided I could pack 2 suitcases..so one I shall fill with glorious regular oatmeal and peanut butter and the other clothes..but leave room to buy more clothes and shoes. I currently am obsessed with a Hong Kong shoe company called Staccato. Mmm yes. hah and pus when I go to China next summer I will be skinnier. Diets suck, but as of late I have been doing awesomely..I used to never talk about my weight or what not..and I know a lot of people hate the subject but now that its obvious that I have lost weight since last year I'm not gonna be all quiet about it around my friends b/c I don't need anyone thinking I have an eating disorder, silently shrinking, thats just not cool. And blah blah blah I know what you guys are gonna say, but I have to be happy with myself first. So pass the assorted stuff, please!

oh and the final degree of initiation for tridelta is 2morrow..I'll finally be a real member..also 2morrow I plan on writing my English paper rough draft, its about eating disorders fittingly enough. It's due Monday, final Wednesday. And I have to turn in my History book report by Wednesday. THEN: HOME FRIDAY FOR BREAK! HANG OUT WITH ME PLEASE!
#1-708-439-6759

so I wrote this huge post about this weekend and why no1 should buy reduced fat peanut butter and then lj died..lame..so maybe I'll rewrite my awesome post about pb later this week...

wasting my time..college is getting to routine.

2006-11-10T18:50:05Z

hi
I havn't been able to sleep..like all week.
and even when i'm awake..i'm not really. I just can't sleep.
but cant function as i would being awake. im in limbo.
Chris said it best: "like my body knows it should be asleep but my mind isnt cooperating"
but i never can sleep...well i have phases.
I think I'm gonna skip english for the first time and sleep at 2...till at least 5...Sue is going home at 1 w/ jennayyyyy and ryan...I hope amanda doesn't walk in. haha. I hope she reads this. fact is..I don't know the girl well enough..I'm gonna shower tonight and dance in my underwear..so knock please. Initiation for tridelta is tonight and 2morrow morning..its dry week for us b/c of initiation..which is cool. I think I'm quiting drinking for a while..it got old for me..but I can see why other ppl still drink..i have to be at the house at 5:45 and then I have to be back in my room by 7:15ish to shower and get ready..to do basically nothing..and then I'm gonna go to bed a little earlier so I can wake up at 10 to get ready for tridelta again at 11-12:45. Then we attend our first meeting sunday! I'm excited..but not so much that I have to do a essay for english and a book report for history this weekend.
everything is crazy.
I seriously miss being at home and staying up all night watching movies and then the next day going shopping at ridge and then fucking around at hucks and chilling at lilys.
My routine weekend.
the old days.. so much easier.
i love college..but fuck college at the same time
but i don't give up something i started. i'm obviously gonna get it over with..b/c thats how i am..i wouldn't have waited around
i miss going with the flow.
but thats what weekends are for.[[altough this weekend isn't really a good example of that]]
I miss my mom..that sounds lame...but shove it...
I miss going to assssbarys and I miss seeing flips shows..and improv..
I also miss a certain boy. he probably doesn't know it...so w/e.
eh I miss my bed..sleeping on my mattress on the floor..i could sleep in there for 2 days and it gets so dark I wouldn't be able to tell u if it was night or day. throw on a good movie...like clerks or fight club and then watch it with commentary and laugh my ass off when jared leto is being punched in the face, its not funny..but when ur waching it alone in ur room for the 20th time...idk..
I miss my friends, but I've been missing some of them before I left for college so coming home probably wont fix that.
fuck it.
I love eastern.
I love everything about it. but sometimes I wish I can bring somethings from home I love up here with me..and then when i get sick of them I'll send them on a bus back home.
one week til I come home.

millikin

2006-10-19T02:23:52Z

"top of the world."
Gerry and I went to Millikin last weekend for my sisters homecoming.
She won homecoming queen.
I saw sam. Her roomie, Kristen is awesome.
Gerry and I salsa danced.
I'm trying to lose 10 more pounds by thanksgivin'. Think I can do it?
I just mailed out some letters.
I miss u guys..I might be coming home next weekend [[the 27th]] but i'm not sure.
I need to interview an old person. yay for my mom working at an old folks home.
I need to go to a tri-delta meeting.
the end.

You hit the road and left me an ocean.

2006-09-30T22:22:06Z

I can't swim in the silence of your skin..skin.. please let me in.
Inside the time I have to forget you.
Inside no chance of us at all.

THE UNCOMFORTABLE SURVEY. [[stolen from lauren waters randomly through a bulletin]]
1) Longest relationship: about 2 years on and off. [[i dont count it if we didn't talk for like a year..]]
2) Shortest relationship: hah 2 days.
3) How many boyfriends/girlfriends have told you that they loved you: 2 guys.
4) Have you ever loved someone so much that it hurt?: Yeah love tends to do that to you.
5) Have you ever made a boyfriend or girlfriend cry?Yes
6) Are you happier single or in a relationship?pssh..I've been single for a long time..I love taking risks but when it comes to taking a risk over getting my heart broken..well I tend to just stay away from it.
7) Have you ever been cheated on? yea. twice. some boys are stupid.
8) Have you ever broken someone's heart?probably..but they will find someone...it just wasn't me.
9) Talk to any of your exes? oh yea..but i'm not friends with them like before..we talk on the phone maybe once in a blue moon.
10) If you could go back in time and change things to where you could still be with one of your exes, would you? no..i'm good with where i'm at.
11) Think any of your exes feel the same way?yea..well i know one for sure.
12) Do you believe that you are a good boyfriend or girlfriend?:Well i mean we all have our flaws but my intentions are good, so yes.
13) Have you dated people who were not good for you?who hasnt
14) Have you been in an abusive relationship?i wouldnt say abusive but manipulative yes.
15) Have you dated someone older then you?:yes
16) Younger?yes
17) Do you regret anything that you have done with a boyfriend or girlfriend?I don't believe in regret. Everything happens for a reason no matter how cliche that is.
18) Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?depends on the person.
19) Believe in love at first sight?i can be convinced.
20) Ever dated two people at the same time? nope.
21) Ever been given an engagement ring?nope.
22) Do you want to get married?pssh. idk..I would really rather live happily ever after...u don't need to be married to do that.
23) Do you have something to say to any of your exes?hah...
24) Ever stolen someone's boyfriend or girlfriend?:yea once..but she was a beast.
25) Ever liked someone else's boyfriend or girlfriend?Crushes sure.
26) Does heartbreak really feel as bad as it sounds?:At first it kills..you feel like u wanna drown urself in a bubble bath..but after a while the feeling fades and u realize one day u'll wake up and find someone new and the person who broke ur heart wasn't the guy for u anyway..and u'll be glad ur not with him..<3
---------------------------------------
so I finished my history essay...it took 3 days..well really 3 hrs after its all said and done..there were 2 parts of the essay and I did the first part extreamly detailed and perfect..and the second part I just talked..blah blah blah.
I'm gonna study for the test 2morrow for a little bit and then during the hr break after english and before history...so i'll go in knowing what to do hopefully..i'm so tired..I feel like such a bum.
last night allix, joe, and I watched some movies..they were good..we all talked about stupid crap..and idk..it was fun. well i had fun. oh and we delofted my bed..my setup is pretty sweeeeeeet. i'm lovin it. really..
I kinda miss sue and ryan..
I don't think i'm gonna eat dinner tonight b/c I'll save up for 2morrow so i can go down and eat twice..i'm not hungry at all right now..i just wanna nap or something..i'm probably gonna stay in and sleep/do laundry/watch movies/listen to music..I'm in a really mellow mood right now..
Gerry just texted me...so i'm gonna go..btw..if ppl can message me their address[[like my close friends]] then maybe i'll send them a letter...i get bored between classes..and i have a lot of stamps. so yea..i've only sent one letter out to my friends..which was one to matt..i want a damn pen pal..mail makes me smile. <3 so if u want mail message me and i'll give u my address too..or u'll see it when i send u something.
eh i'm gonna go.

downhill.

2006-09-26T00:07:48Z

so friday was awesome..merebear, frank, and hollywood came up to eiu..along w/ some other ppl i've seen before..they were all up there for joes 21st b-day 2 day party..it was pretty much amazing..friday night was great..besides the fact that mere told me that everyone back home was telling her to not talk to gerry and to say hi to me for them..I know ppl are mad at gerry..and its his business..so I don't even care..so just b/c i'm gerrys bff doesn't mean that if u hate him u should hate me..thats not fair. So hi to everyone..I miss u guys.
so sue went home friday so she miss all of the weekend..friday night gerry and i had a sleepover and watched girl interrupted for the 3rd time that day..but we finally watched it all the way through..
saturday night we did the same thing as friday for joes party thing but it was at a different house..phi kappa theta to be exact.
chris didn't feel good so we left early and dropped him off in his room. Gerry dropped me off at my room and thenI started getting sick..oh i forgot to mention mere was sick as hell at the party and threw up and I threw up in the bathroom but only gerry knows about that..but yesterday I was throwing up from 3pm till 11pm..it was gross..and 10x worse b/c I'm 3 hrs from home..and I just felt really shitty. so I missed my 2 morning classes but I went to my afternoon ones..
I'm doing laundry right now and then after its done i'm gonna get ready for my chapter meeting at 8:30 till 10:15..
I'm trying to be better about my diet..I don't eat junk foods or any shit like that since last nov..so I'm just gonna stick to that and then smaller portions..b/c I feel like drinking is making me gain some poundage..eh..w/e..I'm not going out this weekend b/c I have a lot of hw due monday and a history test, the one subject in which I don't understand a word the teacher is saying..
so yea..I don't have class till 2 tomorrow so I'm gonna go cash a check and thursday I'm gonna open a account at family video and rent greys anatomy seasons 1 and 2 and watch them all weekend..since sue is going home again I'll have the room to myself..and I think I need to recover from last weekend.

100 degrees/whos gonna watch you die?

2006-09-19T05:05:45Z

so theres a lot of pictures..from this last weekend.
but first i'm gonna show u wednesday when I was wearing my tridelta shirt. sexAYYYYYYYY:

pref nite!!

yay..I don't wanna come home...well for a while..lotsa pictures:

new friends. 10th floor heart<3

me and joe c.

Allix and I. we are sexy bitches.

My bff gerry<3, roomski susan<3, and bff from eiu ryan<3

we weren't talking to eachother..haha we were mad when this picture was being taken. I have a nice ass..haha.

roomski love and peace from gerry and ryan<3 fav picture<3

we were kinda gone..hahah.

sidekick crap/awesome pictures from friday:

so I'm having a blast at eastern..I miss my mom and squirtgun..and my dad..and my sister..and all my friends back home..and I even miss pisol..even though I Havn't met her yet.But I still miss Alex the most...I guess I started crying this weekend about her..I can't believe I'm crying over a cat..but she was more to me..wtf..I sound stupid. but I guess tears were streaming. Anyway..I can't wait til gerry uploads the other pictures...haha..theres like 40 more..but I probably wont post them...maybe like 5 of them..just letting everyone know I'm doing okay..and I miss u guys but I'm not homesick at all..besides the whole alex part.
call me...or text me..I have unlimited texting..and I'm bored during the time I'm not in class or out.
oh by the way: I'M THE UNO CHAMP!!!!!
haha.
OH! and everclear=*shakes*

3 times better with just one letter.

2006-09-13T16:55:44Z

eh..I just wrote this huge thing w/ photos and everything and then my computer frooze. lame.
so I'll rewrite it b/c its that awesome.
So if u havn't noticed, I havn't been around for a good week b/c I've been going through sorority recruitment. yea...My sister, kelly, was basically my reason. She is an active member of tridelta at millikin and I saw how much fun she has with all her sisters...also I was kinda homesick at eastern so this way I can be busy and have girls to talk to. yay! so yea..since my sister is a tridelta, I'm a legacy..which I guess in greek life, its a pretty big deal. I got asked back to both 2nd round and preference night to the tridelta house..I was so excited and nervous..My sister helped me get ready for preference night, she did my hair and took me to target to get new shoes..I wore brown instead of a black dress...and red shoes..they were really cute.

double sisters now<33

Well I went to bid day and saw what sorority my gamma chi, alica, was in...I seriously am in love with her. she was the best! without her I don't know what I would do.
Alicia and I. pref night<333

So I found out I was in tridelta today...it was amazing..I met a lot of my new sisters...eventually i hope to know everyone!! We took pictures and then mingled.

Bid day '06!!

Tridelta<3333

I'm tired and I don't feel like writing nemore..so in short:
I walked home with my new sister, maggie..and we are planning a t-shirt maing trip eventually.
gerry and sue totally shocked me by decorating our room with streamers and triangles galore. I love them<3
oh and i need to go to walmart 2morrow..any1 up for it?

We'll have the life we know we would.

2006-08-26T04:33:22Z

my word is good.

i miss u guys.
i'm having a ton of fun..learning a lot..and i feel so different.
college has really forced me to become different..not in a bad way...I just wasn't able to see it back home.
i'm busy taking tooooo many notes...going out on the weekends..and basically sleeping.
but i'm doing it by myself...well not by myself...but without the whole safety net..
i'm gonna be home for labor day weekend. and i really wanna see everyone..b/c i know i didn't get to say goodbye to some of the ppl who matter the most to me.
well...be good and don't u miss me.

wow..i'm here.

2006-08-24T05:33:09Z

So I'm at Eastern..my first week is almost over..
I went to a party every night my first weekend..but the weekdays are different..I have been studying and taking a ton of unnecessary notes and readying things that arn't due in a week...I have a good system going..it keeps me busy at all times and also gives me a lot of free time on the weekends and sometimes during the day..
my history teacher is a joke though..thank god I read through the chapter and wrote a ton of notes..I need to pass that class..I also realized I'm gonna be spending a ton of time in the writing center..b/c I suck at essays.
ehhhhh.
I got a letter from my mom today and wrote her back..and also wrote my sister a letter..the letters I wrote seemed to make me sound wiser in a way..it was weird..like I put all the words in the right place..and I feel so different...Like wow..I'm in college..I just feel older..in a good way..like I can now visit my sister in college and feel like I fit in more...but in my own way..
I gtg..class 2morrow at 2pm..but I am tired from the long day..
miss everyone..and I hope everyone has a chance to feel like I do right now.

wait a minute sally, I think i got something in my teeth, could u get it out for me?

2006-08-07T01:11:53Z

THATS FUCKING TEAMWORK!

so yea..college..in 11days.

I already know who I'm gonna really miss...b/c even though we say now that nothing is gonna change..shit happens.

I still hope we can all hang out when we come home from breaks..and now with the internet and myspace/facebook/aim we can plan weekend trips to visit eachother.

this weekend at ryans cottage is gonna be one of the last hoorahs and I just don't wanna feel like everyone is dying and I'm never gonna see u again...but hey..u never know.

I'm so excited to move into eastern...just meet a ton of new ppl and be on my own...live in the same building as GERRY! have ppl over to my room!!..its gonna be cool.

but I'm gonna miss ppl...and yea..that sucks..but we all started hanging out randomly..and we arn't like everyone else..we were brought together as friends even though we are all completly different and now somehow we all seem like we are on the same wave lengths. A lot of us have already had to face being apart b/c we all went to different highschools growing up..so its not gonna be that different this school year..only that we wont see eachother as much as before..

but neway..I guess all I really wanted to get out of this blog is that I know everyone is gonna go through some changes this year..mature..meet new ppl..whatever. but when we come home I want u to know I still wanna hang out with u guys. w/o most of u I don't know where I would be...we all have our issues but the last few years..geezzz..I don't even know what I would be doing now with out ur friendships and fun times.

so this isn't a goodbye..its more of a good luck..and a see you sooner than later.

<3

happy 7/11

2006-07-11T07:58:09Z

well..I'm gonna go shower. and then finish packing..then I'm off to jacksonville beach, florida!
bye<3
I'll miss u guys.
<3<3333

bored...

2006-07-09T07:44:40Z

(Click here to post your own answers for this meme.)

✓ I miss somebody right now.	✓ I don't watch much TV these days.	× I own lots of books.
✓ I wear glasses or contact lenses.	✓ I love to play video games.	✓ I've tried marijuana.
✓ I've watched porn movies.	× I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.	✓ I believe honesty is usually the best policy.
✓ I curse sometimes.	× I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.	× I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.

* * * * *

× I have broken someone's bones.	× I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal.	× I hate the rain.
✓ I'm paranoid at times.	× I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.	✓ I need/want money right now.
× I love sushi.	× I talk really, really fast.	✓ I have fresh breath in the morning.
✓ I have long hair.	× I have lost money in Las Vegas.	✓ I have at least one sibling.
× I was born in a country outside of the U.S.	✓ I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past.	✓ I couldn't survive without Caller I.D.
✓ I like the way that I look.	× I have lied to a good friend in the last 6 months.	× I am usually pessimistic.
× I have a lot of mood swings.	× I think prostitution should be legalized.	× I slept with a roommate.
✓ I have a hidden talent.	× I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.	✓ I have a lot of friends.
✓ I have pecked someone of the same sex.	✓ I enjoy talking on the phone.	× I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
✓ I love to shop and/or window shop.	✓ I'm obsessed with my Xanga or Livejournal.	× I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
✓ I have a mobile phone.	× I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.	✓ I've rejected someone before.
✓ I currently like/love someone.	× I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.	× I want to have children in the future.
✓ I have changed a diaper before.	× I've called the cops on a friend before.	✓ I'm not allergic to anything.
× I have a lot to learn.	× I am shy around the opposite sex.	✓ I'm online 24/7, even as an away message.
✓ I have at least 5 away messages saved.	✓ I have tried alcohol or drugs before.	× I have made a move on a friend's significant other or crush in the past.
✓ I own the "South Park" movie.	✓ I have avoided assignments at work/school to be on Xanga or Livejournal.	✓ I enjoy some country music.
✓ I would die for my best friends.	× I'm obsessive, and often a perfectionist.	× I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
✓ I think Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.	× I have dated a close friend's ex.	✓ I am happy at this moment.
× I'm obsessed with guys.	✓ Democrat.	× Republican.
✓ I don't even know what I am.	× I am punk rockish.	✓ I go for older guys/girls, not younger.
× I study for tests most of the time.	× I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I've ever met.	✓ I can work on a car.
✓ I love my job(s).	✓ I am comfortable with who I am right now.	× I have more than just my ears pierced.
× I walk barefoot wherever I can.	✓ I have jumped off a bridge.	✓ I love sea turtles.
× I spend ridiculous amounts of money on makeup.	✓ I plan on achieving a major goal/dream.	× I am proficient on a musical instrument.
× I hate office jobs.	× I went to college out of state.	× I am adopted.
× I am a pyro.	✓ I have thrown up from crying too much.	✓ I have been intentionally hurt by people that I loved.
× I fall for the worst people.	✓ I adore bright colours.	× I usually like covers better than originals.
✓ I hate chain theme restaurants like Applebees and TGIFridays.	✓ I can pick up things with my toes.	× I can't whistle.
✓ I have ridden/owned a horse.	× I still have every journal I've ever written in.	× I talk in my sleep.
× I've often thought that I was born in the wrong century.	✓ I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions.	× I wear a toe ring.
× I have a tattoo.	× I can't stand at LEAST one person that I work with.	× I am a caffeine junkie.
✓ I am completely tree-huggy spiritual, and I'm not ashamed at all.	✓ If I knew I would get away with it, I would commit at least one murder.	✓ I will collect anything, and the more nonsensical, the better.
× I enjoy a nice glass of wine with dinner.	✓ I'm an artist.	× I am ambidextrous.
× I sleep with so many stuffed animals, I can hardly fit on my bed.	✓ If it weren't for having to see other people naked, I'd live in a nudist colony.	× I have terrible teeth.
× I hate my toes.	✓ I did this meme even though I wasn't tagged by the person who took it before me.	× I have more friends on the internet than in real life.
× I have lived in either three different states or countries.	✓ I am extremely flexible.	✓ I love hugs more than kisses.
✓ I want to own my own business.	× I smoke.	× I spend way too much time on the computer than on anything else.
× Nobody has ever said I'm normal.	✓ Sad movies, games, and the like can cause a trickle of tears every now and then.	× I am proficient in the use of many types of firearms and combat weapons.
✓ I like the way women look in stylized men's suits.	✓ I don't like it when people are unpleased or seem unpleased with me.	✓ I have been described as a dreamer or likely to have my head up in the clouds.
✓ I have played strip poker with someone else before.	✓ I have had emotional problems for which I have sought professional help.	✓ I believe in ghosts and the paranormal.
✓ I can't stand being alone.	✓ I have at least one obsession at any given time.	✓ I weigh myself, pee/poo, and then weigh myself again.
× I consistently spend way too much money on obsessions-of-the-moment.	× I'm a judgmental asshole.	× I'm a HUGE drama-queen.
✓ I have travelled on more than one continent.	× I sometimes wish my father would just disappear.	× I need people to tell me I'm good at something in order to feel that I am.
✓ I am a Libertarian.	✓ I can speak more than one language.	✓ I can fall asleep even if the whole room is as noisy as it can be.
× I would rather read than watch TV.	✓ I like reading fact more than fiction.	✓ I have pulled an all-nighter on an assignment I was given a month to do.
× I have no piercings.	✓ I have spent the night in a train station or other public place.	× I have been so upset over my physical gender that I cried.
× I once spent Christmas completely alone because there was a miscommunication on which parent was supposed to have me that night.	✓ There have been times when I have wondered "Why was I born?" and may/may not have cried over it.	✓ I like most animals better than most people.
✓ I own a collection of retro games consoles.	× The thought of physical exercise makes me shiver.	✓ I have hit someone with a dead fish.
× I am compulsively honest.	× I was born with a congenital birth defect that has never been repaired.	× I have danced topless in front of dozens of complete strangers.
× I have gone from wishing I was a girl to revelling in being a boy to feeling like a girl again in the span of five minutes, and not cared a whit for my actual sex.	× I am unashamedly bisexual, and have different motivations for my desires for different genders.	✓ I sometimes won't sleep a whole night or eat a whole day because I forget to.
× I find it impossible to get to sleep without some kind of music on.	× I dislike milk.	× I obsessively wash my hands.
✓ I always carry something significant around with me.	× Sometimes I'd rather wear a wig in day-to-day life than use my own hair.	✓ I've pushed myself to become more self-aware and thereby more aware of others.
× Even though I live on my own I still cry sometimes because I miss my mother.	× I hand wrote all the HTML tags in this document.	✓ I've liked something which a majority of people claimed was either bad or weird.
× I have been clinically dead for a brief period of time.	✓ Instead of feeling sympathy/empathy with people and their problems, I simply become annoyed.	× I participate/have participated in auto drag races and won.
× I do not 'get' most comedy acts.	× I don't think strippers are money-greedy or slutty for dancing.	× I don't like to chew gum.
✓ I am obsessed with history/historical things and can't wait for someone to build a time machine so I can be the first to use it.	× I can never remember for the life of me where I parked the car.	✓ I had the TEEN ANGST thing going for at least 2-3 years.
✓ I wish people would be more empathic and honest with each other.	× I play Dungeons and Dragons weekly.	✓ I love to sing.
× I want to live in my mother's basement when I grow up.	× I have a custom-built computer.	× I want to create a certain someone's babies, even though there's a 0% possiblity of ever achieving it.
× I would be in a relationship with one of my pets if they were human.	✓ I've gone skinny-dipping.	✓ I've performed in three plays.
× I enjoy burritos.	✓ I'm Irish and loving it.	× I have a thing for redheads.
× I am a twin!	× Most of the times, I'd rather do something intellectual instead of doing something generically 'fun'.	✓ Once I set out to finish something, I always stay at it until it is completed before I move on to something else.
× I wish there were a way to erase past mistakes.	× I sleep more than 12 hours a day.	× I wish I could be prouder of what I've accomplished, but it's never enough.
× I need more time to myself.	× I wish I was more open-minded.	× I hope that I go really prematurely grey.
✓ I download songs from the internet.	× I've just reenacted chapter 58 of Death Note with my best friend.	× I say random things to freak people out.
✓ I'm still a little mad about the ending of Death Note.	✓ I love playing Truth or Dare.	× I love listening to slow music, but I hate singing to it.
✓ Music helps me remember that I am not alone.	✓ Playing my favorite sport makes me temporarily forget my problems.	✓ I think this survey is particularly long.
× I prefer my LJ friends to my real-life ones.	× I can only hate someone that I love.	× I've ordered an extra two shots of espresso to an Americano at Starbucks.

punch aj.

2006-07-06T00:12:25Z

vote...or die trying.

click on "punch aj."
fucking vote.
lets make it 2 years in a row that our sox got a player in the last vote.
oh and pray that someone on the allstar roster gets sick so crede can take their place. hah. b/c ozzie said that crede is on call for a spot.
<3
thanks bitches.
voting stops thursday. so get to it!

head under water...keeps keeps getting hotter.

2006-07-05T22:41:45Z

work is good...i got paid time and a half yesterday for the fourth..and the sox killed the "oreos" [[13-0]]

i worked in the 300 level for once..it was really fun b/c it was air conditioned and u didn't have to do nething up there..plus i didn't mind staying b/c we were getting paid that extra money yesterday. and i got this creepy 40 yr old sport services man giving me his number to go to the taste of chicago..telling me i need a man..not a boy. hahaha.

sport services....creepppppppppppyyyy guys.

haha my stalker, kyle, he works for them. haha yellow shirts.

I'm so excited for school. I thought i wasn't gonna get all my computer stuff till i left for florida so i told my dad not to open any thing b/c i need to fill out the rebate stuff..but i got a email from apple and my computer should be there on the 7th so i'm going over there on the 9th to fill out my rebate stuff so i can get my money back on my white video ipod IV. hah i'm gonna love my 4th ipod...plus i need to pay 100 in the future so i can fix my black video ipods screen.

in other news I got my sidekick...its quite amazing...i put some songs on it..but i'm gonna probably delete them and when i go to my dads sunday and monday I'm gonna update it.

MONDAY NIGHT/TUESDAY AT 12:01AM-711 slurpees.

yes...

haha

omg seal just came on my ipod..its been an awesome shuffle...i'm waiting for gerry to come home..i hope he can get a macbook too..they are so fast and wonderful..not to mention the camera/web cam thats built in so we can talk room to room without having to pay nething or picking up the phone. i can't wait for eastern..but at the same time i am gonna miss a lot of ppl.

i thought i would be crying a lot b/c even though we say that we are gonna still hang out when we come back from breaks i feel like some ppl are just gonna move on..and yea..for sure i'm gonna meet a ton of new friends but no1 can compare to another sally, sarah, marko,burn, anna, lily, mike, frank, matt patt, anyone else..blah blah blah.

i'm convinced we are all gonna hang out..well most of us. I'm really glad gerrys going to eastern...i would still go w/o him..but it just makes the goodbyes a lot easier b/c he was the one person i really cant see my college life w/o..let alone a week.

but like a lot of ppl are going to colleges only like 45min-1hr away from us..so u can always visit.

tonight i'm going to hucks w/ gerry [[like when i got back from my debut]] and we are gonna discuss his classes and how it went and whatnot...2morrow i'm probably gonna be changing my schedule around..i like it right now but i have 18 hrs my first semester..but that way i end the year w/ 32 hrs and i can study abroad my 2nd semester soph. year. SWEDEN!!..lol idk.

eh i packed for floida!! 7/11!!! i'm excited..but i'm gonna miss everyone..but i have a sidekick plan so free messages[[aol yahoo msn text email picture and web browser]] so feel free to text me..i'll be back the 16th and i'll be out and about all nite.

last night..was...yea.

anyway.. i figured out what tattoo i would get..but i'm gonna think about it till next summer..b/c i'm smart and figure i should actually think about it for a good amount of time b4 i get it...cuz if i don't like the idea after 10 months then why would i get it. this is probably one of the first times i've thought about something for a really long time b4 going through w/ it..pluse i can get more money together and find out who i want to get it done by..so yea.

eh gerry just messaged me and said he would be home around 8ish..so i'm gonna go bum around a while before 7:30ish and then i'm gonna get ready..even though kinda am..

sry this was long..

<3

take these lips that were made for kissing and this heart that will see u through.

2006-06-26T20:41:56Z

so brian actually left...
after all the talking he did about joining the marines and the war and w/e he finally went through w/ it and left.
yea..its gonna be weird...but he didn't hang out w/ us that much this summer..but its gonna be weird not seeing him on random days and not bashing him for liking the cubs..and i'm gonna miss his hugs..
but i didn't cry. mostly b/c i saw him the day b4 he left..it hit me yesterday when i was at lilys graduation party and lisa said she was crying b/c she just went and saw him off. or w/e... but i would have cried too if i was there and saw everyone else crying..its like contagious..thats why whenever i go to a funeral i try not to cry b/c then everyone starts.
but neway..heres the last known picture of brian b4 he left that i took at maxwells grad party...haha even if hes just in the background:

but neway after maxwells graduation party i went to hucks w/ gerry and then i just went home b/c i had to shower and then be up early for the gay pride parade that was yesterday.
and omg was it fun...
but the nite before i didn't go to bed at all.
i blame joshua. sleepovers are fun..but not when u know that u have to be up by 8. so after trying to sleep till 5 in the morning we just ended up staying up.
joshua ended up going home and i picked up gerry and we went to the parade.
it was so fun. and then afterwards we went to lilys graduation party..and then i went home at like 10 and i took this picture:

pretty good for no sleep.
and the cartoon effect never works w/ ne of my pictures.
so yea..
and then i watched the sox...i was all like "fuck we are gonna lose" b/c it was the bottom of the 9th and we were losing 9-5. then omg.
goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooch grand slammmmmmmmmmmmm!
and then we won in the bottom of the 10th.
then i passed out for almost 14 hrs....i probably still would be sleeping but i had to pee.
haha.
alright well i'm gonna go get ready.
call my cell if u wanna go out..no work all week but tuesday till wednesday nite i'm gonna be at eastern to sign up for my classes or w/e.
OMG yea and i'm getting a sidekick 3. fucking t-mobile ppl thought it was a joke when i asked them about it. "that comes out in the fall....u don't know what ur talking about."...but i'm ordering it from t-mobile the 28th b/c i'm existing customer..everyone else has to wait till the 10th...which is awesome b/c i'll have it for my flordia trip so i can talk to everyone and send pictures from flordia. i'm excited.<33333<33333
OH!!! and july 3rd. fireworks. downtown. were all going. so just bring money for the train..they don't charge the way back ever..i'm pretty sure.
so yea..neway. call me this week if u guys wanna do something.

my dog wont bite if u sit real still.

2006-06-23T18:54:23Z

So yesterday was insane.

improv was canceled due to the fact that the new owners are doing crap and they need to get all the paper work done or w/e...but seriously..gerry and i were up there wednesday for open mic and we saw the new owners..they could have told us what they were doing.

so 2 weeks w/ no improv or open mic.

eh.

so i didn't get to see kat. *single tear*

but instead we[[ron audrey gerry and andrew]] went to hucks. but i stayed there for 15 minutes and then i left to go to the pool hall w/ matt and rob.

pool hall was awesome. I saw bridgette wood, who i havn't seen or talked to in like 2 years or something. so that was cool. oh and I saw DAVE!! haha i was supposed to see him at improv. weird..but it was funny b/c the guy who works at pro-tyme was like "let me guess...ur here b/c of ashbarys..man..this place is gonna be the new hang out for 2 weeks"

so yea.

after that, matt and rob dropped me back off at hucks..i went back and forth to 4 different tables...mostly 2.

then ron dropped me off at home at 1ish.

but while all that was happening today I felt really bad b/c I was supposed to meet up w/ this guy joshua. but shit kept coming up and then ashbarys was closed..but neway. he was supposed to call me last nite and never did. so w/e

but then i got home and i had a message on myspace from him and i ended up just telling him to come over to my house at like 2 in the morning b/c i wasn't tired and i felt bad b/c i was supposed to hang out w/ him.

we talked on a corner across the street from my house till 4:30 in the morning. random ass conversations. yea. it was pretty much amazing.

so that was my crazy day.

i'm done w/ this b/c I'm talking to ppl on aim.

<3

alex is missing.

2006-06-07T05:54:33Z

oldie

She was last seen saturday morning in Blue Island.
REWARD IF FOUND.
If anyone has any information on Alex call (708)439-6759 or message me or anyone of my close friends.

Plese hit reply and copy and paste this info and post it as a bulletin.

i'm sick.

2006-05-24T18:44:50Z

and i have to leave for work in 2 hrs or so.
but at least i work for the sox. they always make me feel better. but driving there and back is gonna suck today.
blah.
too much water intake today. its making me feel dizzy b/c its the only thing i can actually eat w/o dying. and food taste like shit b/c i have been sucking on cold ezz all week so my taste buds are dead. and all i can taste is this honey crap.
but 2morrow is beach.
even if it rains.
even if it pours.

love is testing me...but still i'm losing it. (my tummys up in knots)

2006-05-23T04:54:45Z

so i made a top 16..heres who i picked..even though this will probably change within the hour: gerry, sally, neal, maxwell, lisa, marko, jesse, ryan, tommy, matt, chris, lily, ron, kaka, sarah oc, and burns.
-------------------------------------------------------------
so neway..i've been thinking a lot about how much fun this summer is gonna be...and how much time i'm gonna spend with all of my friends..and what not..but when it comes down to it..its not that i don't wanna hang out w/ my friends..b/c i really do..i just want to have someone special to talk to..not even a b/f...just a person that no matter how long i've spent w/ them..or if i'm in a sad or bad mood that i can hang out w/ them and not get annoyed. b/c everyone in the group basically has their b/fs or g/fs and i have all of u to talk to..and of course gerry<3 but he can't always be around so i want someone that can be where i want them to be. i really need a coin operated boy<3
i'm going to the beach thursday..and we have a seat to fill. i don't even wanna pick ne1..b/c i don't wanna take one person w/o the other.
so w/e. i'll just go w/ gerry and ron..its only a day trip. it will be fun no matter what...i went out and bought magizines to read and gerry needs to bring the sun block. haha.we dont plan on going in the water b/cthe water will still be cold..so sleeping on the beach is what i'm most likely gonna do.<3
saturday was sallys party..it was grand..i was in and out so many times..it was great..i saw so many ppl and i loved it. sally should really have more parties b/c they are always fun..shes such a great hostest.
cubs/sox was insane however...but i'll be okay..too many stories about that. oh aj.
today i drove around and rented movies...2morrow i plan on returning the movies and sleeping as much as possible..and wednesday i have work..but thursday is the beach. then this weekend is gonna be great..i have no idea whats going on but i'm gonna be out all weekend so ppl should call me.
and where the fuck is neal...?
bottom line: "it would be nice to have a relationship..but i've seen so many ppl get fucked over..including my parents and friends..that i would rather not take that risk. whats the big plus to having a b/f neway...?"
eh i need....something.

pour myself a cup of ambition. yawn and stretch and try to come alive.

2006-05-05T19:53:59Z

so yea.

boys suck.

and so do i...i guess. i ruin basically every chance i ever have w/ a guy..but i guess its all for the best b/c i have school-->work-->summer-->college. i guess i shouldn't let a boy fuck w/ my plans...

hah

seriously.

i have to leave for work in 2 hrs...i'm bored. I was supposed to do something next weekend but now i'm free i guess. it kinda sucks..but whatevs..

i know saturday i ritas prom...but what is everyone doing on friday..or for those who aren't going, what are u doing next saturday?

neway...i was giving my speech today in english...i didn't have to do it but no1 else was really going and i want to pass the class..so i figured if i actually did it then i would pass..so i'm probably going to now..but neway..i'm in the middle of my little made up bull shit of a speech that i'm pulling out of my ass and mouse runs across the class..everyone screams..i stand there and laugh..and then i just go sit down b/c my teacher said i got enough for a grade..and everyone claps for my speech..and that was it.

so saved by the mouse?

hah.

i can't wait for mullet day at sox park...i think everyone should go and see me in my mullet..haha last yr some kid sold his for 70 dollars on ebay..and i think we are getting t-shirts again...i fucking love my job..

i figured that when i can't work patio and go home early i'm gonna work section 127-128. so look for me there.

my art teacher told me i looked like i stopped eating..i said thanks and kept on w/ my scupture. i guess its better then if she said something like "it looks like u ate a whole buffet. as in jimmy buffet.

oh boy.

i can't wait for summer. and the movie hackers is a joke. wow..angelina jolie is hot in it but the boys look like dorks and the effects are so 80s...and i think the movie came out in the 90s..so yea. i can't believe i actually watched it in web design...i should have ditched 5th. eh.

4 more days of school. <3

plans next weekend(12th-14)? final fantasy burns? best buy gerry? shopping carts everyone?

I dont cry whenever i fall. and i can run as fast as anyone i know.

2006-05-02T22:36:12Z

Damone
Rock
Boston, MA

Ferocious rock 'n' rollers Damone will release their new record "Out Here All Night" on May 23, showing off their strong love of '80s glam metal, Runaways-size girl rock, guitar solos and badass attitude.
» Listen Now

i'm sure gerry likes this..hah i had to post it b/c it was on the myspace homepage and i was pretty sure i was the only one who even heard of them...they are pretty old...
but neway...i decided on eastern. so its all good. i have a ton of stuff to catch up on though...like they keep sending me things thats due within the 3 days from when they sent it...like woah...chill.
other then that nothing really been going on. everyone thinks i look different...i don't really see it as much..but then again i see myself everyday..so i don't really notice change...but they say its a good change so whatevs.
now i'm listening to dolly parton. hahah loves it.
sanasaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa sanasaaaaaaaaaaa
loves it bitch.
i only have 7 more days of school. yay.
i'm excited for summer...eh i'm gonna stick with my job...just b/c i want the money for next year.
i really wanna take some trips to the beach soon.
<3sleeping on the beach.
i'm not gonna around this weekend but i'll see everyone next weekend. yay. no school or work. but then the next weekend is cubs/sox weekend. its gonna be nuts...call time is like 9 for one of the games..so i have to be up by like 7 to get ready and then leave.
i have yet to put my money in my bank account...i'll get to it eventually..
i printed out blank calenders and but stuff i have to do on them..like work and possible roadtrips..my vacations w/ my mom..
eh...but for now i cant wait till next weekend. even though its ritas prom so i probably wont see a lot of ppl...but hopefully i'll see most of u.
eh and this kid i'm talking to is being a ass munch. he doesn't get a hint.
.....
i went to the little red school house today. it was amazing...a little muddy...but there was a school group there and they were all ugly..they were in high school though..i wonder which one..b/c they were really unattractive...
hahah
i need to stop missing school. 7 days left..i'm gonna be at each day. there should be 8 days left but they canceled senior day b/c "too many ppl ditched on senior ditch day and didn't call in" or some shit. i really think its b/c our school is too poor to afford a nice day for seniors..i heard that it was gonna be canceled b4 the whole ditch day..so who knows..but i guess none of the seniors are gonna show up for school friday. so senior ditch day part II? eh w/e...i might go but i have a doctors appointment at 11 something so even if i showed up at school i would have to leave early. so fuck it.
late start 2morrow. weeeeeeeeeeee.
<3aceofcase